I did it!!!!

I finally broke the 100lb...103lbs exactly. 

My mini goal was to be 250lbs or less by Christmas but I don't think I can lose 7lbs in 4 days??? Guess we will see!

I'm all done buying, wrapping and food shopping for Christmas. I should not have to enter a store again till Dec 30th!!!!

Last week was crazy busy. Monday Mr Nathan had his allergy appointment. He was tested for environmental allergies and they did 2 tree nuts. 

He is still severaly allegic to peanuts (they did the blood test again but I won't get those results back till Jan 12)

He also tested positive to birch, pollen, ragweed, dust mits, cat and dog dander (he had them before) and cat hair. They tested him for pecans and hazelnuts and he had a sever reaction so doctor said we won't test any other for a couple years 

So I had to go out and buy a vacuum with a hepa filter so that I can not only sweep my floors (which I do multiple times a day) but I also need to vacuum them, plus his bed (monthly). He also needs an allergy cover for his bed and pillows, to eliminate his stuffies from his room (which will be hard as they all share a room and all have stuffies they to this still sleep with nightly). 

I was informed yet again that I can not put him in a bubble...which after this past week I wish I could. 

Picked up my new van on Wednesday!!!! 

So far I love it. I miss my automatic starter but I'm learning to adjust...hehe

Thursday I was in the city for my 3 month post op appointment. Everyone said I was doing great! Especially seeing the set backs I've been having. 

Nutritionist said I was eating a great variety of food. However I need to increase my quantity (which is scary). She wants me to limited my carbs to 15 grams per meal. And to continue to measure my portions (which I will admit I have been slacking on) I still only eat off my salad plate and 8/10 I don't finish what I put on the plate. But with out know exactly how much I started with its had to know how much I actually consumed...so something to work on. 

Friday I found out that my new job will finally start up the first week of January!!! So I won't be laid off for the winter after all (thank you!!!!)

I also received a phone call from the accountant we use at work to see if I was interested in a small project to work i

on from home over the holidays...of course! Which then lead to a phone call Saturday to see if I would like to come work in her office December 29&30 as she is now down a girl and is trying to keep up till she can replace her....of course I can! 

So what started out as a month of worry about how I was going to make it threw Christmas and the winter and not end up deeper in the red....could lead to me being back in the black before spring begins!!!!

Tuesday we pack up and move to my parents house for the holidays so if I don't get a chance to post again before then

MERRY CHRISTMAS 🎄🎅🎉

And HAPPY NEW YEARS!!!!

I hope 2015 is full of love, happiness and family 😘

Life's been crazy yet quite....is that possible???

We just over a week away from the big day and all is calm! I have one more crazy busy week of work/activies/appointments and then the kids are done school for 2 wks. 

I'm also laid off from 2 jobs for the winter so my schedule will slow down after the holidays too (and money) 

I still have wrapping to do, have I meantion how much I hate wrapping???

Normally you mom and I make an evening out of it but now that the kids aren't seeing there dad I don't get to do that. So Wednesday once I get the kids on the bus I'm headed there to do it all....myself 😩

Wish me luck!

Oh soooo close 😕

After what seem liked the stall of a life time I'm finally losing again!!!! I'm 1 lb away from hitting my onederland! No no I'm not out of the 200 yet, but I'm sitting at 99lbs lost since April! 

It's nerve racking to be sitting on this exciting moment. 

On a happier note, on my shopping trip Saturday I was totally flabbergasted at the fact not once but twice I had to go get smaller sized clothes 😮

I went into old navy with hopes to buy some new jeans (that in its self is a huge moment!) I was in such for a size 20, of course they didn't have any. So I tried on an 18....they fit! I was so shocked. 

So I grabbed myself a pair, and grabbed a pair of 16 for Christmas from my grandma. 

I'm also receiving a new hoodie for Xmas....in an XL! And a new dress coat as well. 

I can admit I still hate shopping for clothes, however it's so rewarding to be able to go into normal stores and buy normal sized clothes. The amount total spent Saturday on 2 pairs of PJ, coat, boot, sweater and 2 pairs of jeans wouldn't have bough me 1 outfit before this process! The hard part is knowing that these clothes won't fit me in 6 wks 😳 but I'm not complaining! 

Did someone set life on fast forward???

I'm sure it was only October a couple days ago, but some how we are on count down to Christmas???

We had a lot of sick bugs in November around here, I didn't work much that's how sick I was. 

Little man had croup (again...well actually twice within the month) I ended up with bronchitis for almost 3wks. Add it some extra doctors appointment to and a death in the family and that sums up our month. 

I was able to finish my Christmas shopping up....except for "the list" the kids make 🎅

I have a bus shopping trip this Saturday to finish that off. 

As I've gotten older, and wiser, I've come to the conclusion that I hate buying people gift to just buy them gift! I would rather give them something that pops out at me for them. It may have been my many years of having to stick to a budget around this time. Now I make my own budget and if I don't stick to it....oh well! I pay my own bills!

I've also gotten into the habit of staying out of stores when buying gifts! 

I am very blessed to have very talented artist in my area who make a wide variety  of things I can give. Not only do I help my community, most of the items are one of a kind and personized. I can NOT wait to share some of the beauties I have found for this year....in just 23 short days!

It's driving my mom crazy cause she keeps asking what I bought people and I can't tell her cause it would give away some of her gifts. 

Ive done a full 180 this year for Christmas and am fully embracing the holidays! 

Dalton is attending one of our local retirement home this coming Tuesday. This Cubs group made treats for the residents last night and picked names to buy a gift for....I love this idea as I know so many of them don't get to see any family over the holiday. I see it all the time with working at the hospital. I go in after Boxing Day and some of the patience are so depressed. It breaks my heart. So this little gesture means so much. I wish I could afford to adopt more of them. People often just think of the kids this time of year and forget that there are adults who also could use a helping hand.  

I've also been lucky enough to help with adopting a local woman (who happens to also be a friend) this year along side my mom, BFF and anothe good friend. Together we all put in money and items just for HER. She is one of the most selfless people I know. She is a mom of 5. Her youngest son is a non verbal autistic. She does everything in her powers to provide for her family, and is the first person who offer help/support when someone e is in need. She would honestly give you the shirt off her back if she knew you could use it. 

The best part of this....unless she figures it out in her own...we are not telling her it's us...heheheh

I'm having my bosses wife drop it off to her house a couple days before xmas. And everything g will be wrapped with her name on it!!!!

This is something I hope to continue to do yearly for a person or family. I want my kids to realize that the holidays is about giving not receiving and just how blessed we are to have what we have. 

The Rose Project

There is a woman here in my town how started the Rose Project, she collects toiletries and winter wear for homeless people her locally and in the city. 

I loved the idea and was telling the kids about it and they thought it would be a great idea to help and make a donation!

This is what we came up with.....

We had enough for 10 full bags (including mitts, soap, Kleenex, gum, tooth paste, toothbrush, dental floss, hand wipes shampoo and hand sanitizer and for snacks the kids wanted to fruit snacks, chocolate covered granola bars, and cookies)

I also had some extra stuff to donate that. Had in the cupboard that wasn't being used here. 

The kids helped me stuff the bags after school and then we went and dropped off our donation. 

I love being able to teach my kids how lucky we are to have what we have, and that we should be thankful for all of it!

It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas!!!!

It's been 3 years since I've been in the Christmas spirt, but this year I'm determined to make it a happy joy holiday in my home regarless of what life throws at me (feel like I'm dodging a lot lately)

Remberance day was a beautiful, warm sunny day so I took advantage of it and hung all my outside lights.  

Not the best picture but it's to cold to try for another. I've added more since then too!

I've also gone all out inside!

This is what we used last year as a tree....but let me explain that we are not home for Christmas.  We spend it at my parents house so it worked. We didn't need a big tree for gifts to go under cause there wouldn't be any

Every year since I was born my grandmother has given me a Christmas ornament for the tree, and year year that's what I use to decorate our tree (she has continued this with my kids as well). Some may like a themed tree, I like my memory tree, while some ornament have survived I still have 90% of them! And my kids will when they start their family's as well. 

I started my own tradition with the picture ornaments. I've given them out as gifts fr the last 9 years. 

It's so much fun to look back and see how much my kids have grown. 

Are you ready for the holidays yet????

Where has time gone???

WOW it's  been weeks since I've had a chance to blog. Life is so much better then last time!

I can eat! And the acid reflux is GONE (mostly)!!!!

On a sad note now that I am eating (still only about half of what I should be) I haven't lost any weigh in almost 2 wks 😧

I'm down a total of 91lbs in 7 months so I'm still very happy with that, have to get my butt in gear once I get over this cold I have....well honestly I think it's bronchitis. I'm going to doctor tomorrow, my hernia is also not in the best of shape from all this coughing. 

Kids are doing great 2/3 brough home report cards today.....proud momma I am!

Alex is adjusting so well to his new school, he's coming out of his shell and making friends👍

Dalton is doing awesome as well, he needs to go back into his shell just wee bit....he likes to chat this year

Nathan....well he's still Nathan! He's come leaps and bounds in the 2.5 months he's been in school. Now knows his entire alphabet, can spell and write his name with no help and count to 30 with little assistance. Although he doesn't like to sit and learn he is learning....ALOT

I was just hired for another job (yep I'm up to 4 now) which could have come at a better time consider the crap my ex is pulling now (another story). Hope to actually get started in the next couple weeks! 

Over all life is good! We made it threw Halloween, and yesterday was a bright  warm beautiful day (also Remberance Day) so I took advantage of my 3 hours between jobs and put up my Christmas decorations outside! 

I'm determined to get and stay in the holiday season this year (no matter what life throws at me). This is a rough time of year for me as this is where everything started going down hill without my knowledge just 3 short years ago. 

I'm almost done my Christmas shopping...just a couple small things to pick up,and I haven't gone into debt to do it. 

I go back to my surgeon in 2 wks just for another check up, hopefully by then I will be on the losing path again 😉

7 wks out

Not much of an update as life hasn't gotten much easier 😖

I went on Tuesday to have my eshagus stretch....was instant relief when I woke up. Heartburn was gone, gross taste in my mouth was gone, lump in my throat was good....clear sailing....RIGHT????

WRONG 

Now Thursday and I have acid reflux so bad that even sitting still makes me gag. 

Food still isn't going well, and not because it won't go down but more that I have reflux so bad te though of adding food to it makes me want to cry 

Freezes are my friend, however the stock pile of sugar free ones I bough....are GROSS! 

From here out I will enjoy a small regular freeze (3grams of sugar so below my limit). 

At this point I should be eating meals with my family again. However I'm still barely eating anything. Protien powered is still a no go, and most days I'm lucky to keep my vitamins in

I go back to the surgeon in 2 wks. Hopefully if I can get this reflux under control I will be eating. If not, I'm kind of scared what can be next????

 

5 weeks out

Life is still not that easy, food has become my enemy. 

After being in full fluids for an extra week and going to the 1 month clinic, they had me call the surgeon to let him know what was going on. He suggested I stick to fluids only till I see him this wed (oct 15). He more concerned about dehydration then he is about not keeping solid in. I assured him I wasn't dehydrated at all. 

Friday I gave in and made myself a smoothie (stayed within guidelines for sugar, fat, etc) and it was sooooo freaken yummy (I use to finish my day off with one pre opti). Yet with in 20mins if finishing I was running to the bathroom. 

I meantion this to a couple people I know that have had the surgery and now I'm wondering if I may have become lactose intolerant. I've been living off of pudding, yogurt and cream soup for almost 3 wks now and none of it is staying in. Then at night (while I'm home cause you don't want to feel the pain and discomfort I feel after trying something puréed/solid while at work) I would try something heavier. 

As a side effect to this surgery, people tend to have bowel issues (sorry if TMI) because we don't eat as much, our digestive track has been rerouted and our body is keeping all the food we put in (cause we cant/shouldn't eat the foods we "elelminate") people tend to get bound up bad and need medication to move it along, this was one of my greatest fears going into surgery. I haven't had this issue. Everyone medically has been shocked. I'm more "regular" now then I have been my entire life (one bonus....I think)

Since friday, I've had NO dairy at all. Have not been sick, have been able to keep in small amounts if normal everyday food (1/4 slice of toast with jam, beef veggie soup, a nibble of turkey, crackers) 

I'm still not eating even close to what I should be at 5 wks out however what I am eating is staying in (BONUS)

Surgeon doesn't want to do any scopes this soon out, thinks my espugas may still be swollen (as it was 2 days post op) or even try stretching it out yet (to soon he says). 

So I guess I just continue to eat what I can, trying new foods when I can and continue to weigh as I am?!?!? 

I'm currently down 78lbs total since April (38lbs since surgery) BUT more impressive is my BMI has dropped 11 point!!!!! I feel amazing (still tired come about 8pm, and constantly cold....it will e a long winter up here!). I've finally broke down and bough some new clothes and bras....but I'm being smart about what I buy cause I can't afford a new wardrobe every 10-20lbs. 

Do I have regretes???? (Cause this is a question I'm asked the most)

NO, there are moments of time where I think what have I done BUT they are normally in the middle of a painful "attack" (cause that's what it feels like when you have so much pressure and pain sitting in you chest you could scream and cry but you also know it's only going to make it worse). I'm still wrapping my head around the "new" way of life. Can't just take a pill when in pain, can't just chug a glass of fluids cause your thirst, grab something quick to eat cause your physically hungry (I guess all the stuff that lead me to where I was)

I know in my heart this was the right choice for ME, I know it's been a rocky start, but I also know it will get better, I will over come this obsticulas just likeeverything  else I have lately and in the end I will be here to see my grand kids (possible great grand kids) and I will live a healthier, happier lifestyle because of this decision 

Here are aome photos to show the changes. 

1st from April 2014 

And from October 2014

(Kind of wish I still had that green shirt so I could continue taking them in the same outfit)

Weeks out....life isn't going so good

I'm back to work full time (yaaaa),I'm still loosing weight (4more lbs....61 so far) however....I can't eat???

I did good with the full fluid stage, and as I try and transition into the purée stage I'm struggling...big time!

I can handle scrabbled eggs, thick soups, mashed veggies, 1tbsp of mash potatoe (no more). However I can't do chicken, beef, chilli or anything thicker. Even when puréed. It's driving me crazy. 

At this point I should be starting soft food and I can't keep purees down???

Breakfast is either a scramble egg or 1/3 cup of yogurt, 1/4 cup of oatmeal (ohhhh the excitement)

Lunch if at work....I stick to soups. I take 1 full cups an slipt it between 2 meals...with 2 soda crackers in each serving (yummy soggy crackers😝)

Supper...is where I'm willing to try something more puréed style (seeing as I generally get sick after trying I don't want to be doing that at work)

Tonight I had 1tbsp of puréed chicken and 2 tbsp of mashed veggies. Had maybe 2 baby spoon bites and that was it. I've tried puréed chilli, mashed potatoes with chicken, puréed roast beef and none of it stays

I go to my 1 month post op appointment next week (thankfully) and will hopefully get some answers....I'm still wondering if there is a sirture in there (and not just a swollen esophagus) 

Again I said I was going to be honest, wasn't going to sugar coat my experience. I don't want to scare anyone but I also don't want to make it seem like a walk in the park either 

2 week post op 😉

It's been 2 weeks since surgery and life is going good!

Been home for just over a week, starting puréed foods tonight.  I'm beyond stuffed!

I had 2tbsp of mash potatoes n chicken with my normal 2 tbsp of protein powder. It went down good but I feel like I'm going to explode! 

Over all healing is going well

Went back to work Sunday (shhhhh don't tell). Worked the hosptial and just took my time. Monday I worked my normal office shift. It was so nice to use my brain again!

Was able to catch everything up in 1 shift (not sure that's a good thing, but it's nice not to feel behind), did te hosptial again today and work at the new office job tomorrow. I've decided to take Friday to myself. And then I start a 10 day stretch. 

I weighted myself Sunday at my parents. I've lost 12lbs since surgery (or 58lbs since April 1). 

Over all I feel great! Mid afternoon I do get some pain in my actual stomach, I'm not over doing it but it's more so the muscles reconnecting. It's right between 2 incision. As long as I don't move my left arm, bend or sit up to quick I'm good. Easy right...LOL

So the journey continues....clothes are my becoming my enemy (but I guess I should get use to it for the next year or so) however I'm not complaining....seriously😝

Sharing someone else blog on Nut Allergies!

http://www.fillingupmycup.com/2012/10/a-letter-from-annoying-peanut-allergy.html?spref=fb&m=1

Now I'm not blog savy at all and I'm not even sure I'm allowed to do this however some on my FB shared this link today and it hit home....hard. 

I give full credit to this blogger and just want to say THANK YOU for putting my thoughts into words and sharing it with the world! 

No parent chooses to have a child that is "different" and thankfully only some are blessed to have them. So even if is seems like "we" are being annoying (bleeps) were NOT. WE are trying to keep are kids safe and allow them to grow up and feel "normal"

And yes the part brought tears to my eyes!

Week 3 of school

Alex and Dalton are half way threw their third week of school....they are both adjusting well!

Alex is slowly coming into his own as a middle schooler. Gym class is still a struggle, sadly not because he doesn't want to participate (which would normally be the issue) but because he needs to change in the locker room. He's very shy and very little compared to most 12yr olds. He's willing to change his top, it's the bottoms. Even today as it's a bomby 9 degrees out he decided he wants to wear shorts to school (this child wore a coat to school with pants up till the last week if school cause he was cold). I gave him some tips on how to change without people noticing and hopefully today will go good!

We've had some bumps with the after school program, but hopefully when were back on routine Monday it will be smooth sailing for the test of the year!

Dalton, is LOVING school, minus the homework. He's come out of his shell this year (yahhhhh). He's join cross country (but not confident enough to compete yet), he's helping out at after school daycare and just blossoming! 

Nathan is well....adjusting????

It's been a slow process but he on day 8 of being in full time JK. First day home was the note

"Nathan had a hard time listening today, please remind him we need to listen to the teachers". I get it, really I do. He's 4, he's social, he's active. He gets overly stimulated easly, nothing else was sent home the first week. Monday I check his bag

"Nathan is still having a hard time listening and follow routine, please continue to remind him"

Routine??? Is day 6...they are suppose to know the routine already? 

It was also the first time he took the bus to school. When I picked him up the driver says to me "he does like to sit does he?"

Ummm nope! He's a boy, he's 4 and he doesn't have a seatbelt on. So now our morning have a new routine....me going over all the different rules for the different places he goes in a single day. Ok general all the rules are the same, however in Nathan's head each place is completely different. 

It goes something like this

Me: we need to remember on the his we???

Nate: sit in our bums!

Me: at school we need to turn on?

Nate: our ears!

Me: we also need to....

Nate: do what the teacher asks and keep our hands to our self 

Sound easy right???? WRONG

Yesterday, I get a call from the VP (yes after my heart slowed down thinking something was wrong) apparently Nathan  kicked another child (perfect!) 

So at the end of the conversation it turns out that another child was pretending to be a zombie, Nathan is petrified of zombies. 

Neddles to say, yes he shouldn't have kicked the other child, yes he will need time to adjust. 

Last night was the open house at the younger boys school

I was chatting with Nathan's teacher and she says to me

"That child is so freaken cute! When I took him aside to remind him about our no hands in policy, he looks me straight in the eye, puts his hands in his hips and says "I didn't use my hands I used my feet!" She just about busted a gut laughing. She had to leave the room afterwards to collect herself. 

I'm like....I live with this every single day!

Good news....we have had ZERO issues with reaction!!!! Yes were only in week 2 but it's such a relief! A lot of the parents have asked lots of question, and are ao supportive!!! And I'm thankful

I expressed that my concern is as we head into Halloween and the holidays. Parents (especially in JK) love to send in homemade treats for the kids to share. 

Both the teacher and are are a little freaked out! We will be meeting to address this soon. I don't want to be the bitch and say NO homemade goodies. But I also don't want something to go horriably wrong either. The school has their next staff meeting in 2 wks so we will meet after that. 

Hope all your littles (and bigs) have adjusted well to the new school!

  

6 days post op...

Well I survived! Made it threw surgery on September 10. It been a heck of a ride. I have no plans to sugar coat my experience so if your looking for someone who will only share the positive aspects of surgery....I'm NOT the person you want!

In true fashion I arrived to the hospital super early...like 70mins early. Day surgery didn't even open till 6am. It was 4:50am. Emergency said I could wait in the hospital waiting room...perfect!

At 5:55 the nurse coming on duty asked if I was waiting for surgery, she took me upstairs and the morning began!

Went to the OR waiting room for 7:45, meet with Surgeon and doctors. And at 8:05 I walked into the OR!

Everything went amazing! Was in my room by 1pm (surgery was 2.5hr then recovery room). I was awake and going pee alone by 2:30pm. 

For supper I was able to have chicken broth and lemon jello....have I ever expressed how much I HATE lemon jello????

The first night went ok. I was told I need to drink 15ml every 15 mins. Ya that didn't happen 😫 I was luck to get 15 ml an hour. Everytime I had a drink I was in so much pain. Yes most of it was gas pain (I asked about walking, to help but they said not till morning), but it would sit on my chest like a brick. I felt like there was a giant lump in my chest and nothin could get past it. 

Wednsday night I just did what I had to for fluids, Thursday morning was worse, I drank maybe 15ml in 2 hours. And nothing was stayng down. Nothing. I was puking up foam. I couldn't even swollow my own siliva. It was bad, and it only got worse as the day went by. I ended up back on the iv and still continued to puke 

Friday morning after not being able to keep anything down for 36hrs they took me for a swollow test. Basically it was an upright X-ray, where you swollow this gross liquid and they watch it go down your espagus. He say "good it's going, going, going...oh shit!" Yep that was the radiologist says. 

He's like ok, try another sip?

I said if I put anything else in there your going to have a mess to clean up!

He insisted!  I asked for a container. 

The nurse gave me one. She could see my face turning green (not kidding she even said it to the doctor). 

So I took another drink and started gagging. He stopped the test and says...well you have a blockage. There's no leaks but it's not going threw correct. 

And then I puked and almost passed out

They put me back on the stretcher. Took me back up stairs were I contined to puke and puke some more (sorry I warned you this wasn't a pleasant post)

The doctor comes in about 30 mins later and said.... well???

I told him what the radioligist said and he's like there's no way you have a blockage this early. He went to check the report and came back. It wasn't a full blockage. My espagus was extremely swollow and nothing was gettin threw. He described it like a drip from the IV. Said he wanted to keep me the weekend and to go slow. It would get better. Keep walking and drinking. Needless to say I stayed in bed the rest of the day and never drank anything (thank god for IV fluids) I continued puking up till about 10:30-11pm.

Truthful moment here....Friday afternoon I told the nurse I regretted having this done. I knew it was a bump in the road but anything and everything I knew to make me feel better wasn't an option anymore. I has heartburn soooo bad I would have killed for a slice of plain bread and some chocolate milk (something that has always worked in me, especially while pregnate and I had acid reflux BAD). I was in pain and would have just loved to take a couple pills and call it a day. However again, it's no longer an option. 

Saturday I woke up and felt like a new person! I didn't have that heavy feeling in my chest (probably cause it was finally empty and rested)   Breakfast came and the though of even trying to drink something brought me to tears. The nurse you have to try, you have to be able to take in full fluids before we can realease you 

So I started SSLLOOWW. I measured out the 15mls and gave myself 30 mins to drink it all. It went ok, I couldn't have gone fast if I tried. Between "feeds" I started walking (see the stubborn side coming back??? Sure sign I'm feeling better) I would do 3 laps around the ward come back, pee (cause of course IV fluids do that to you) and start in my next 15ml! 

It took me 2.5 hours to drinks 60mls. 

But I did it and never puked! I continued on clear fluids for the day and did ok. Couldn't (and still can't) drink the 30mls in 15mins (day 2 post op goal). 

Suday for breakfast they bumped me back up to full fluids. I was served cream of wheat 😝 and apple sauce! I was excited about the apple sauce...it wasn't lemon jello! As much as I love me some apple sauce...my stomach doesn't. I was getting that feeling again. This wasn't going good. I stopped eating and went walking. At this point I was doing laps of 5!!! Grabbed some ice chips cause I would keep them in now!!! And went back and decided apple sauce wasn't for me!

Lunch came and they served me cream of mushroom soup (minus the mushrooms) smelled horrid, looked horrid but it was soooo yummy!!! No issues at all eatting it. Toke me 90 mins to eat the whole serving! I was excited, my nurse was excited and I was finally looking forward to going home. 

To my super my surgeon showed up around 2:30pm!!! Asked how I was, asked how I was eating. I explained. He saids good! Feel up to leaving??? 

Sure??? Kind of confused, excited but confused.  

I was free to go....if I could fill my prescription. Ok I'm up for the challenge. 

I called 10 yes 10 pharmacy to see if they carried the injectable blood thinners I would need. Finally after over an hour I found one that would be about a 15 min detour from route home. Texted my dad and said I'm free!

All went well. He picks me up. We get to the pharmacy and yes they received the fax the hospital sent, however because I wasn't in the system he didn't fill it. Are you kidding me???

So with the fax in hand he adds me to the system. Not once did he ask me a question? All the info was on the fax ( not the first time I've done this). It was an hour later that I was finally able to leave. He got the fax at 3pm we got to the pharmacy at 5:15 left at 6:20????

So now I'm home, the kids are all at school. Yes even little man!!! Resting, eating, and just taking it easy. 

I no longer regret my decision ( I'm sure at some point I will again but it will pass!)

I'm excited to continue my new journey!

As of September 10 I was down 45lbs and 27 inches... Not shabby for a flabby 😉

T-5 days....

Or as I like to say, 28 more shakes!!!

Yep I'm at the point I'm now counting down how many more shakes I have till surgery!

All my logistics have been worked out! My dad is getting off early to drive me to the hospital Wednesday morning, then get off early again Friday to pick me up (he truly is the best!)

Mom is come to stay Tuesday night, the kids all have daycare and after school programs situated! 

Work life is all sorted! I've convinced them I'd be healed and ready to return 12 days after surgery (little nervous but they are all understanding and told me to take it slow!). I'm truly blessed to work for the people I do

So now I just need to get threw the next 5 days, pack my bag and I'm off to my new life....can't wait to join the "loser" bench!

OH ya I almost forgot....I'm down 15lbs since Aug 17!!!!

That makes 40lbs total since April....now only 155 to go!

  

Feeling stressed....imagine

Septemeber is going to be a life changing month for everyone in my house....all for the good!

Alex starts a new school, new routine and will need to gain some (unplanned) independence! He is currently feeling more stressed then I am. Alex doesn't deal with change well (and it's been showing in his behaviour as of late). I dropped the ball and forgot to call the school to book a tour, so Thursday night when someone asked who his teacher was I was like "Bleeeeeep". I did luck out and found the new VP at the school when I stopped by! Alex will have a male teacher again this year (mind you only for home room). I was able to get a run down how the mornings will go, where he will get dropped off etc. 

now to work in after school....eeeek

Alex is no longer able to attend a daycare now that he's 12. I was able to find him an after school program that he could attend, was able to find him transportation to it and when I called to verify all the details is when they informed me their program wouldn't start till sept 8....bleeeeeep. So with some major rearrange of schedules between my mom and I someone will be here after school the first week. 

Dalton is good (or so it seems) he's excited to return, he's excited to have a male teacher, he's excited to help Nathan transition into school and he's says he's actual excited to go back to daycare (again so it seems...only time will tell)

Nathan, well he's been ready for a year to attend school. I however am so nervous about this step. They are so many obsticulas we will need to get past to make this a sucess!!!! I pray it goes smooth, especially seeing as I have surgery and am out of town for half of his first week 😳

Then there's me, surgery is just a mear 11 days away. The shakes are going well (finally). I haven't weighted myself since last Sunday but I can see a difference and have had people comment that it looks like I've lost weigh?!?!

They say the more you lose while on opti the less/slower you do after surgery so we will see. I think I finally have everything figured out for my hospital stay....minus a way to get there. The joys of a mid week surgery. I've offered to go up the Tuesday night and get a room so that no one would have to miss work and we would miss all the traffic but still can't find a ride. Said I would drive myself however I would need someone to drive my van home when I'm discharged on the Friday. 

I get people don't like to drive in the city(I'm one of them), however it's literally right off the the hwy. then you can get right back on.  Anyways that's still a work in progress (worse case I will drive myself up and figure out how to get the van back over the weekend I guess???)

So in a nut shell, lots of new thing, lots of changes and lots of stress....so it seems that how my life goes...rely only on myself and figure it out as I go 

  

Now a kiddo update....

If you just read my other post you will see te last week hasn't been the easiest. I'm exhausted, I'm hungry, I'm stressed, and I'm sick of being tested!

I'm coming to the conclusion that being a single parent sucks! Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my kids, I would change my life except I would love to have a second person to actually help with them. 

Between preparing for surgery,working 3 jobs, using 2 daycare/daycamps, dentist appointments, soccer tournaments, getting 2 kids prepared to start new schools, allergies and all the other things I do in a day (cook,clean, laundry etc) IM DONE 

I get a call Friday from Nathan's daycare that he's come down with a fever....perfect!

I pick him up he's running a mild fever of 102. Gave him some meds, had an early night and by Saturday he was fine (or so I thought). Saturday we had the soccer tournament (2 kids, 4 games in 5 hours, plus work afterwords). 

Sunday, I was off to get school supplies with 2 kiddos and a stop at Costco (keep in mind I'm not allowed to eat just drink my shakes). We stop at the mall, go into the 1st store and Nathan is running wild. He's normally in a cart but of course mall don't offer them. So I was able to get him a couple pieces of clothes and we moved on to shoes (I hate shoe shopping!). Dalton was having none of this game, he apparently wasn't feeling well. 

After 45 mins in the store we finally found a pair that he liked. 

Then to Costco...oh how I looth this store. I went for cheese strings....ended up spending over $230. 

New backpacks and lunch bags for all 3 boys, and figured seeing as surgery was coming now would be the time to stock up on snacks. 

Because I had to work and mom didn't want to cook after being out all day they all had Taco Bell for dinner...I had a shake and 2 pcs of celery (which took up 1 of 2 cups of "food" I can eat per day). 

Oh did I mention that while we were shopping I happen to notice Nathan was growing spot....everywhere???

First thought was a reaction, however they weren't in the normal areas. Then I notice that both his hands, arms and belly and legs are COVERED????

Then comes the itching, and more itching. Throw in a dose of whining "momma in so itchy, help scratch me" 

You can imagine the looks we got as we went threw the store. 

Nothing else was wrong....just spots. 

I text a friend asking....chicken pox or HFMD( hand foot mouth)??? We both thought HFMD. Then the spots blistered and started to ooze. Yep all while we were still in the store. 

They just kept coming, bum, groined, legs, feet, face, ears, everywhere but his back??? I was convience it was the poxes

Monday the boys all had dentist appintments, because I'm the annoying mom who pick 8:30am Mondays to take my kids to the dentist I couldn't give tem a heads up. So we go I confine Nathan to one spot...explained to them what was happing and we all agreed because we didn't know which it was we would reschulde him. 

After the dentist I call the GP....have I mentioned how much I LOVE my GP! Yep you guessed it, drop the older boys off to camp and right into the doctor we go! 

Good news.....it's a sever case of HFMD!!!! He was able to go back to daycare today I was able to actual work both jobs today and all would be right in the world....WRONG

Dalton gets up at 10pm crying, he has a headache, his throat hurts and a mild fever ...perfect!

We figure out it's a sinus infection (all symptoms lead to yet another one). Now I will admit I have a well stock of medication in my home (an entire cupboard just for meds) however because we are generally healthy MOST of these meds had expired....like late last year/early this year. See my kids don't get sick durnin regular business hours....it's alway in the middle of the night and it's alway bad. The closest 24 hr pharmacy is a 35min drive away 😱

I gave him a Tylenol, rinsed his nose and ice pack and sent him back to bed. This morning he was good (so he said), I convinced him to take another Tylenol and said I would stop after work and get sinus meds. Well I no soon get to work and camp calls. I explained he had meds this morning and said if his headache wasn't gone in 30 mins I call me back and I would come get him. 

Please remember this is the child who just learned that if he makes himself sick, cries and puts in a big enough show people will call me and I HAVE to pick him up. Thankfully camp agreed to give it  30 mins and we could go from there. 

I heard nothing else from them, I did call them about an hour later and everything seemed good!!!! (Thank you!)

Tonight I pick everyone up, as I'm gettin supper I call for Dalton 3 times...no answer...I go down the hall(his new thing is to not answer when I call)and call again...he's not in his room, not in the bathroom????

I go to check out side and find him curled up on the coach sleeping (I should have taken a picture but never thought). 

Needless to say between 2 sick kids, lack of food, extra stress of working 2 jobs everyday this week....I haven't broke! 

I still haven't eaten anything, I refuse to give in to the stress, I know somene is challenging me to see if I'm truly ready for this surgery and I AM....so piss off!!!!

Hope everyone is enjoying the last week if summer...it's finally warm here again! 

T-6 days till 2 kiddos start school and T-13 days till my baby goes to his first day of JK 😩

T-14 days....

I've made it threw the first week! Only 2 to go😏

I will admit, the first 3 days where HARD! I was soooo sick. Everytime I had a shake I was sick to my stomach, I had heartburn so bad I could have screamed (I cried for a piece of bread) and I've peed more in the last week them I have in years....I'm not even kidding 

I finally found my step, found a combination that I can handle, found heart burn relief and have realized that no matter how much I have to do when I'm tired....go to bed!

And the best part....seeing as I refuse to own a scale I use my moms! I generally weigh myself in Sundays when I drop the kids off for work. Well from Aug 17-aug 24 I lost 10lbs!!! I'm slowing getting my energy back and thinking the next 14 days are going to fly past!

Now to find a way to the hospital😨

T-21 day.....

This is what I choose to be my last supper before surgery. 

Normally I would have a plain potato but tonight I choose to load it!!!

Tomorrow morning I start my shakes....for 21 straight days 😁

4 shakes per day plus I can add 2 cups total of lettus, gr pepper, celery and cauliflower. Which would seem great, but as a dressing for a salad I can only use vinager or lemon juice. 

Thankfully I like cauliflower! I also like the other options too

My logistic is working shakes into my work schedule...oh and a possible 6hr pre op appointment tomorrow (perfect timing right!)

So if I'm a little scattered brained, short or distance it's not you....it's me!

Not only am I prepping for surgery, I just started a new job today (yep that makes 3 jobs) and I have 1 day off between now and surgery (only because the government says I have to have it off)

So remember me while your eatting all your yummy foods and I'm chocking down thick, chalky, gross shakes (in vanilla and chocolate, which right in the package it advises you to add sugar free flavouring to make it taste better!)

Why Monday???

So after an amazing weekend it was back to work 😝

Morning started out great! My bosses wife asked me if I was looking for more work cause her sister was looking to hire a bookkeeper!!! 

An hour later so says

"Is this a pay week?"

"Nope next week is"

"Ok well give yourself a $2 raise"

Seriously??? Who gets a $2/hr raise from a job that they haven't been at for even a year???? Me!!!!!!

Then the bad came, phone rings, it's the daycamp

"There was an incident at lunch" followed by a pause

And we all know, I'm well aware my children are not angels, they have issues and I'm prepared to deal with them

"What happened?" I asked

Keep in mind this is a girl in her late teens/early 20's....and clearly she feltawkward making the call

"Well....pause....Dalton was in the lunch room sittin with a friend (yes I instantly think....oh shit!), they found a metal clip on the floor, and well, ummm Dalton put the clip in the outlet"

"Is he ok?"

"Well ummm, he got electrocuted" pause 

"Is he ok?"

"He seems fine, he's just sitting here now, his fingers are burnt but the swelling is starting to go down"

"Burnt??? Does he need to go to the hospital?"

" I dont think so?"

"How bad is the burn???" I ask

"Not to bad, I don't think (what????)"

" ok well I'm 30 mins from camp, did you want me to come get him? I can leave right now?"

"If you want? He's complaining his arm and hand are tingling"

"I'm on my way"

What you dont see is this conversation took like 5-7mins. 

So I rush back to camp, pick him up, take him to doctors. Yes the burn wasn't bad, just the outline of the bobbypin, but as soon as she said tingling I was takin any chances. 

The doctor checked him, said the blisters are closed, watch them and keep tem clean. He did a vibration test on his hands and dalton says he felt it. 

So lesson for Monday....even if you think your child is old enough and knows better, remind them that you never stick anything in an outlet....EVER!

And it's only Monday :(

Birthday Bash Weekend....then came Monday

What an amazing weekend! Weather was amazing! My kids were beyond well behaved, food was yummy, company was chatty, and the new bed made a night in a tent that much better!!!!

Saturday, we backed up and headed to a local water park (Cedar Park, Bownmanville, On). It a little treasure hidden in the woods! 

They have 3 separate water areas and a dry area to play in.  My parents joined us, as did my best friend, her hubby and munchkins! 

6 kids, 6 adults, 2 coolers full of food!

Yes I'm a bad blogger/momma and instead of capturing the day/weekend on film, I spent it in the moment, enjoying it (sorry)

Saturday night, the boys and I camped in my parents backyard! We never made it "camping" this year, so this was the next best thing. It was the night before the Super moon and the sky was so bright all night we didn't even need flashlights. 

Sunday, was the offical party!

An afternoon of good old fashion fun, pool, tie dying and lots of laughts!

There was 12 kids and 8 adults, all the kids were once again amazing well behaved, new friends were made! 

It's so much fun when us mommy friends  can actually get together with all our kiddos and they all get along! It's amazing to see how quick then

they get into little groups and just "entertain" themself. We could have honestly just sat in the shade all day and the kids would have been content playing. 

My dad and I set up badminton, soccer, woofall ball, some other ball toss game and a game that I can never remember the name off (it's a plastic football type thing on 2 ropes, each player holds a set of handles and pulls them apart sending the ball flying down to the other player) 

We also did tye dye shirts. I'm not sure who had more fun??? I handed out shirts, put all the elastics on the table and set GO FOR IT! The kids ranged from 12-2, the little ones told the parents exactly where they wanted their put and loved ordering them around!!!

I was shocked how many of us had never done this before (always say were going to but then we think of the mess and say ya maybe not!) 

Myself and besties hubby coloured the shirt in the colour and spot the child picked. Again they loved the fact it was all their decisions.  Then we tied them in bags and hung them to dye!  

We are food, and more food and cupcakes. 

The kids opened their gifts ( to hugh excitement) and then it was back to the pool!

As the party was winding down, we unwrapped the shirts and took pictures of each one (as soon as I get copies I will share) they all turned out amazing! Each child loved how theirs turned out. 

Then came the crap part of the weekend, it was time to pack up and come home. Darn work always seems to get in the way!

Today was a post in it's self, so I will post it later!!!

I'm again so thankful and blessed to have the amazing people we do in our lives! I wouldn't trade any of them for the world!

And their filled!!!

Im so thankful for the kind man and his son, who once again came to my home, moved my dirt and didnt charge me arm and leg!!! I will always remember you when I need help around the yard 😘

So there they are!

And with some plants...still have along way to go but it's a good start

I'm in love! I'm excited, I'm relaxing and I'm enjoying my yard 😍

Today, I rearranged the veggie gardens and planted potatoes and asparagus! 

I may not get much this year from any of my gardens this year, but I've learned a lot and will be that much better off next season! 

New planter

As you may have just read, my garden got some new planters this week. My yard has come along way this summer and I'm loving every single moment of it

This is the start, I moved the BBQ out to the front yard, the storage bin to help cover the neibours mess...i mean house. And that sand table is also moved over 

Then we build!!!!

Simple frame (2X4's measuring 8' long X 3' wide x 17" deep!

Add some decking boards,

Multiple by 2!!!

Add a raised centre piece 

(30"x30") it has a fake bottoms so that I didnt have to fill the entire box 

Nathan got in in the action once he got home (note the missing cast!!!)

Look a power tool

The final product!!! 

I'm in love, Im excited to fill them and then sit back and enjoy them for years to come!

In total the lower planters are 16'X3'X 17" and the centre raised piece is 30"X30"x 30"

This was all on Wednsday!

Today I came home from work to this!

The perks of working for a landscaping company!

Nathan said he will fill my planters for me now that he doesn't have a broken leg (note the size of his red pail!) 

Thankfully the same gentleman and his son who filed by veggie boxes are coming tomorrow morning to fill these one too!

The large section will be filled with perenials and the raised section with annual (I think)

This is what I'm planing in doing this long weekend...how about you???

Stay tuned for more photos early this week 🌻🌺🌸 

Garden update!!!

Well it's been 34 days since the adventure began, and we have what looks like over grown boxes of greenery ...lol

I think (keep in mind this is my first time doing this), I may have planted to much per box. There should be 4 different thing per box

I did however get this out of there

A little early but it's actually growing!

I've had 1 tomato, 4 cheery tomatoes and this. I know the packages say 60-75 days till harvest but the boxes look soooo full I'm getting impatient 😜

While we wait, we build some new planters, by we I mean my dad...I helped what I could but he's the type who like to just go with it and as the day went on, I left him alone to finish!

I was going to add to this post my new planter, but instead I will make it it's own!

Stay tunes 

Who has 2 of the best girlfriends ever.....

ME! Look what they did today for me😘

My garden started out like this 

(Now we completely forgot to take all before photos ...bad blogger we are...lol)

This was as over grown as the first 😜

After!!! I'm going to plant some perennials to fill it in but we ran out of time 

 

Same as above! 

And then some smaller improvements 

It's an amazing start! A lot of energy has fine into this. 

Next week my dad and I will be building a  large planter (16'x3') which I can't wait to to fill and enjoy!

This is the up side to my children getting older, all the little kid toys that have overtook the yard since the moment we moved here are gone, it finally becoming an outdoor space I get to enjoy (and hopefully someday with some one?!?!)

The veggie are growing!!! I may get my first tomatoe off it later this week!!! The rest all look good to, I've come to the conclusion I need more planters (or less veggies) I'm certain then are planted to close together which will hinder the growth....beginner error!

I've also decide, despite the fact it may take 2-3 years to get a good crop, I'm going to grow asparagus!

I also want to plant potatoes, cooking onion, cauliflower and maybe some beet????

That being said, my neibour side of the house will be covered with planter (which hides the siding they won't fix) and my side of the house will have flowers....👏

Life's been busy, sum it up with an overall UPDATE!

Ok,so let's do a summary on this crazy life I have....

Nathan doesn't need surgery!!!! His cast is to come off July 28, then he will be in a walking cast for up to 3 wks (hopefully not so out birthday bash can go as planned)

I have a surgery DATE!!!! September 10, is the start of my journey to a new healthier me 😃 I start the shakes August 20 😝

Dalton's soccer camp went great, we were honoured to host a coach for the week (which was great!) I will do a full post on that later. 

We are headed into week 3 of summer holidays, camps are going great, I'm exhausted and feel like all I do is drive from one activity to another but in the end it will be over before we know it an back to school.

We still have not seen my ex (been over 5 months), he never made it to graduation (which apparently is my fault for not reminding him), he has not asked how Nathan is doing or contacted me to see if he needs surgery. I can only assume he figures if he did, I would have contacted him by now (because I'm legally obligated too). I did find out he was once again behind in payments for the dreaded van, to which he then tried to convince me to take it over to save my credit (his words not mine) 

To this day, I shake my head and wonder where the man I spent almost half my life with,went? A question I dont think I will ever get the answer too. 

Otherwise life is good. My body is beyond sore from carting Nathan around, the weather isn't helping either. Work is good, I just start my 1st week of covering the hospital full time for summer holidays (12 days straight...yuck) 

Hope you are all enjoying summer break! 

Nathan turns 4!!!

My baby is no longer a toddler, he's officially a kiddo 😩

Mr Nathan celebrated his 4 birthday yesterday, and although it was a low key event he had fun. Summer birthdays aren't all there cracked up to be, busy lives mean birthday need to sneezes into life!

We started the day with a trip to the fracture/cast clinic, after a couple X-rays the Doctor desided they he does NOT need surgery!!!! He needs to keep the cast on till July 28, then he will be in a walking cast for up to 3 wks following

After we got back into town, we went to lunch to celebrate! Followed by some soccer camp watching! Yesterday was the wrap up to Dalton's camp (more about that later)

A home made blanket from Grandma and Grandpa!!!!

And after 7 months of listening to him whine he finally got his own ...

3DSXL (cause 2 of them with 3 kids was clearly not a smart decision on my part at Xmas)

We also had some cake!

We finished out the night with a bon fire! 

Now to start getting prepared for the McCarnan Birthday Bash....3 wks and counting 😁

And then we got a trampoline....

For years Ive always said I would NEVER own a trampoline. And I guess I always knew why. 

My oldest 2 have out grown our playhouse/swing set it's big and takes up almost half our yard 

They have been asking for 2 years to up grade to a trampoline and because Nate was still small I kept saying no. This year when the question came up, I pounders it??? 

So last week I bought a trampoline 😜

It's 12' one, barely fits in the yard (will once the play sets gone) 

(Told you the yard was small!)

This was Friday, Sunday while I was planting my new flower boxes, I ran in to get more water and all I hear is Nathan SCREAM bloodily murder, Alex starts screaming and Dalton yelling I'm sorry.

I run out and Nathan is balling. I asked what happen and Dalton starts balling. At this point every one was crazy. 

I hauled the older to out of the trampoline and try and convience Nathan to scoot his butt toward the opening. And try and get him to stand up, he screams. 

At this point I still don't know what happen?? 

Turns out they were all playing inside of it and Dalton (all 95lbs of him) fell on Nathan's leg. PERFECT 

I get him out and carry him to the van (we were on our way to a BBQ). He's no longer crying...he spent the day laying down while we all tried to figure out "what's next"

I could bend his knee all the way to his chest, extend it fully with little issues...sweet it's not broke!!!! The only time he showed pain was when I placed my hand behind his knee and slowly turned his ankle. 

We assumed he pulled/twisted a legiament or muscle. 

We tried everything all day to get him to stand on it (not my finest moments I know). We get home, I give him a cool bath and wrapped his knee. 

He was laying there watching a movie and apparently had to pee. He scooted to the end of my bed, yelled for help cause he had to pee... I put him in the floor and again try and get him to hobble to the bathroom (3' way)

Not thinking he stepped forward in his bad knee and dropped, screaming in pain (again not my finest judgement). 

So at this point I knew we were headed to the hospital (perfect! Sunday of a long weekend!)

I drop the boys off to my parent around 9pm and off we go. 

No ones in the waiting room (bonus), we are triaged and registered in less then 20 mins (double bonus), and then the ambulances started rolling in (5 in total plus a helicopter) 

After about 45 minutes we were called I to the back, into the drunk tank/chemical room (the room with a build in shower all made on concrete and echos when you talk) perfected for a 4 yr old who loves to talk!

Nathan notices and at the top of his lungs he starts singing/yelling "Johnny test, Johnny test, something, something something"  nurse thought it was hilarious, I was ready to cry!

We waited till midnight to see a dr (thankfully he was a trooper and not in a lot of pain). She comes in, checks him, askes what happens, chats with him, says she's sending us for an X-ray

I say "that will only show a break, I'm sure it not, I can bend and extended it fully. I think it's a pulled muscle"

"Let rule this out first"

Ok, so we are wheeled to X-ray, again after 15 questions of what everything was and was going to do, we had 7 X-rays taken. 

Back to the room, dr comes in about 25 minutes later....starts chatting with Nathan again ( I warn her he won't stop talkin so unless you plan on stay here a while I'd cut him off) explains to him that he has indeed BROKEN his knee (duh)

He broke his tibia bone straight down the middle (not good), and needs a cast from his upper thigh to his toes 😫

Mr Nathan will be sporting this bad boy for the next 4-6wks (pending he doesn't need surgery). 

My local hospital doesn't have a pedis ward, so they didn't have any crutches, so Monday was spent hunting down crutches for a kid who's almost 3' ...not fun!

I did finally find a pair of kids size (need some small adjustments) and a wheel chair (lugging his 40lb butt around is not something my shoulders or hernia where planning on doing). 

Monday he spent the day chiling watching movies on netflix while everyone else played outside poolside. He was in heaven! 

Once the sun went over my parents place he joined us outside. He thought he was a king wheeling around the deck. All the other kids were staring in ohhhh 

I'm so thankfully he still has his sense of humour...except when the pain meds have wore off!

He goes to the fracture clinic on his birthday, where we will learn if he needs surgery (not where I planned in spending his bday, especially seeing as it's at the hospital he was born at...haven't been there since he was cleared if his brain bleeds) 

Lesson if the weekend....trampolines (even with netting) can be dangerous...less then 48hrs after being out up we had our first injury. 

(Yes I'm having MAJOR mommy guiltin this one 😫)

(All ready for the Canada Day Parade!)