He's said he would 4 times now, and 3 wks ago when he asked again (the night before we left for GWL) I laid it all out for him
I told him that Wednesday night that he could not call them, explained that we were going away the next day and it wasn't fair to the children to have this happen and possibly wreck our trip. I also told him to take the weekend and really, whole heartedly think about this. This wasn't going to be a one time call. If he seriously wanted to take steps to rebuilding a relationship with his children he had to be in it 1000% cause I was not going to let them get hurt again.
We had agreed that Wednesday would be the best day for everyones schedule. Well the Wednesday after our trip came and went, never heard a word from him so I assumed I had my answer....wrong 😕
Yesterday he texted me to see if he could still call and I said I would ask the kids if they wanted to talk to him if he was truly going to call. He said he would???
I picked the younger two up from the bus and on the way home asked if they would like to talk to there dad tonight?
Nathan of course started his goofy little laught and said yes
Dalton said YES! Then proceed to start crying. I explained to him that if he didn't want to or wasn't comfortable talking to him he didn't have to. No one was going to make him. He proceed to tell me they were happy tears cause his dad finally cares about him again (enter my tears)
Then I had to talk to Alex. I knew this was going to be a LONG shot but I had to ask and give him the option. He's response
(Remember he's 12 now)
"NO, why would I want to talk to someone who hasn't even tried to talk to me in over a year!" Put his earphones back in and refused to talk to me anymore.
Alex has some major issues we are going to have to work on before he will be ready to rebuild a relationship with his dad, if ever.
He is legally old enough to make this decision on his own know (while I would want to say maybe not mature enough too), and I've always told him that if and when his dad made a move it was his choice. Not I (or anyone) would force him to talk or see his dad if he didn't want too. Yes it breaks my heart that at 12 years old he has chosen not to have a relationship with his father however, he's been threw a lot with his dad in the last 3 years, he been hurt mentally and emotionally and as someone who has ASD this is the worse way to be hurt. He internalizes everything and over thinks everything.
The call was short and sweet. I prewarned him that if the kids ask about sleeping over or going to his place he needed to tell him it would be a while before that could happen. They/we all need to rebuild this family and it will be a slow process.
Each boy talked for about 5 mins. Dalton fought back the tears for the first few minutes (so his dad wouldn't hear him) and Nathan did his typical laugh more then I talk giggle (not sure why he gets so excited when he's on the phone?!!) I actually had to tell him to stop laughing and talk or he would have to get off the phone. I couldn't even understand what he was saying.
Their dad asked me if it was ok with me if they talk to their step mom. Dalton choose not to and Nathan was again beyond excited!
Nathan and his step mom have a special bond??? Not that I know why or understand it but I'm glad he can (and hope he continues to bond with them both).
Their dad has agreed to call again next Wednesday night....fingers cross he sticks to his word!
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