What's next???

I feel as though all I ever do anymore is stress, worry and cry?

I feel like every time I think I have this "life" figured out someone or something throws a ball at me and I'm spirally out if control again

For ever good day there are 3 bad, for every hour slept there are 5 awake, my house is starting to get out of control and I'm not sure how much longer I can honestly hold on

Yes, I can handle the long run, it's the day to day stress that's getting to me

I can live with the fact that I'm soon going to be a mother of 2 children with autism on top if dealing with the constant fear of nuts! 

And the fact that every 6 months for the last 2.5 yrs I fear that my youngest child is going to have surgery on his kidneys n bladder. 

What I'm struggling most with right now, today, this week, this month...the behavior, the screaming, the yelling, the fighting, the lack of respect, the lack of responsibility, the lack of money, the fact that no matter what I try I can't actually increase the money flow with out losing money somewhere else, the fact that I do work part time...but unless my parents watching kids, I lose money to go to work. I feel like I give give give but when it comes to receiving, I have to bag for help. I have to work around 5 different schedules just to work a 2 hour shift. 

I feel like I'm the only parent these kids have, that im the one who truly cares about them like a parent should. I'm dealing with all their behaviors, all their appointments, all their medication changes, all their therapies 100% solo. 

I feel like if I were to even show the outside world how stressed I really am that people are going to start treating me different when really all I truly  want is to go 24hrs where something doesn't need to change, be done, or act out. Yes I do realize that I'm a parent of 3 children and that day may never realistically come but the fairy tale that it may is all I ask for right now. 

I ask that their other parent, be just that ...a parent! Care that your kids are going threw major changes and issues in their life and HELP instead of making them worse