Little man is getting better, he can last about 3/4 of the game before he's had enough and is ready to go, big man....well he starts the minute we arrive.
It's hot/cold, the bugs are bothering me, the grass is to long, I'm thirsty, I'm bored, that kids looking at me, they are cheering to loud, the sun's to bright...you get the point!
Yes by 6:30pm his medication has worn off, yes I know this is going to be a battle of the wills, and I will WIN!
So after spend 90mins dealing with them 2 while watching middle man, my nerves were shot!
Again nothing I can't handle, but here's the catch, here what I don't get?
WHY?
Why do they save all this behavior for me? Why do they seem to behave all day for everyone else, then come home and take 7hrs of frustration out in my 4 walls?
Both older boys are doing great in school , and I'm grateful for that BUT why do I get the brunt of everyone's aggravation/frustrations???
This is not what I pictured when I decide to become a parent?
I know , I'm about 11 yrs to late to change my mind...and please don't get me wrong, I LOVE my kids and would do anything and everything for them, but I guess it boils down to .... I'm jealous!
I'm jealous of those parents who don't have to over think, over analyze, second guess everything they do....because their child has aspergers and is going to have a meltdown like a 2 year old. That they can do things spear of the moment and not fear how they will react, who can just up and decide to stop and grab dinner/ice cream/treats because it is a child's birthday with out first making sure its SAFE, that all three kids can/will eat it.
I guess I'm just wondering how I got to be this mom?
2 kids on the spectrum and the one who isn't, has food allergies that hinder him from being the child the wants to be!
So as I celebrate not smoking for 11 yrs, for being a parent for 11 yrs and the birth of my first son...I still shack my head and wonder ...WHY???
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