Pulled into the web again 😡

How does he do it? How does he sucker me in every single time? I'm so sick of feeling like I have to tip toe around him and her, sick of feeling like if I don't make everything work the kids will suffer???

Tonight was again soccer night, the only differents is the boys are at their dads this week...I wanted to go, I felt I should go...but of course I was to worries about them. I don't want to be "that" ex wife. I was concerned that SHE would be uncomfortable, I was afriad I would rock the boat and all hell would start again. We had just finally gotten to a good place and then this. 

His theory, I shouldn't have asked if it was "OK" to go. If I wanted to be there I should have just shown up, he would have (yes I called his BS on that statement). 

When I asked I it would cause a problem, the first time....I got that long... "Ummmmmmmmm"(I can't answer you right know cause she is sitting beside me)...but seeing as you have known me so long you know the answer is "yes it will be an issues" 

I had to meet up with them either way to give Dalton's soccer stuff, but again, cause I'm always more worries about everyone else then myself, I asked again to make sure. The response this time..."ya it's fine you don't have to talk to each other"....WTH???

Girl if you can't get threw an hour long soccer game with me, how the hell are you every going to make it threw the next 16 yrs? 

We have graduations coming this year, and who knows what else. Get use to me I'm not going anywhere! If you didn't want to have to deal with an ex wife or mother of someone else kids...you should have got with a married man!

So again I'm left with tears in my eyes cause I'm so mad...at them and myself, he has once again dragged me down to a point where I did become "that EX Wife" I said things that I should have bite my tongue on, I pushed buttons that I shouldn't have, and now everyone is pissed off and the kids are stuck with them for another 4 day 😩

Not that each one of them didn't ask if they could come home, which again broke my heart. I wish I could have said yes, I wish life was that simple, but I'm again stuck making everyone else happy while me and the kids suffer. 

I hope they enjoyed the game, cause I did tell them it will be the last thing I miss out on because of them!