As I think about what I want my blog to be, what I want it to show, what I want people to read and understand about me and my family, the more confused I get.
I don't want to come off as someone who only seems to write about the bad in my life, nor do I want you to think that I'm Miss Sunshine who is always happy and bubbly cause nether could be further from the truth.
The TRUTH is I'm a mom, I'm a woman and I'm trying desperately to keep life together for the sake of my kids.
Last year I could have very easily slipped in to a deep deep depression, I could have lied in bed and felt sorry for myself....and some days I did, BUT I didn't let my situation define who I was or who I was going to be!
I have fought tooth and nail to keep life positive for all of us, teaching my kids that even when life gets you down, you need to look at the positives in your life. You need to be thankful for all the things we do have and to appreciate them.
Sure I was afraid the fact that I was now a single mom, was going to hinder how my kids lives turned out. That they were going to suffer because of their fathers decisions.
I have made many positive changes, I have learned some hard lessons and have been betrayed by people who I stupidly trusted.
I have learned that even though I don't trust people easily nor do I let them in often, I do tend to find people that like to play on my generosity. I was taken advantage more then once in the past year, and as jaded as I already was, now I'm even more afraid to let people in, even when they have proven that they don't ask anything of me....even when they truly want to simply help me....which even to this day...I still have a hard time asking for.
I don't like to feel or seem weak in any way...I don't like to admit I'm in over my head. Even on the simplest things like hanging a piece of art work or fixing my plumbing.
I have some rough months as a homeowner where as a woman I needed a mans help...I will admitted now. I need to call my Dad to come help me with my plumbing, and my nephew, when out of no where all my drains (except my tub) were plugged, 2 days later they were plugged again and now backing up my laundry pipe and my kitchen sink...then to find out that I did in fact have to call in a professional and have a vent put in. So needles to say $300 later my pipes flow like theres no tomorrow and even if it happened again tomorrow...I would still wait to call any man to help this momma!!
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