Last Tuesday after 2 years of fighting with my ob he finally listened and sent me for an ultrasound, you see when i was pregnant with little man the ob I had mentioned that there was a small cyst on my right ovary. It was suppose to be removed while they did my csections. However the doctor that delivered me didn't see it and assumed it popped???
Lets jump back to October 2012, I was at the hospital with what I was sure was gallbladder attack (which i was right) when they did the ct scan, they asked me if I had ever followed up about my cyst??? (had a ct scan in Aug 2011 when i was also at the hospital for the same thing)
"What Cyst"???
The 7...yes 7 cm cyst on your right ovary....I was floored!
No one ever told me about it or to follow up on it? Well turns out it was still there. about the same size and same location (from Aug 2011 tp Pctober 2012)
So jump back to my OB appointment, after he tried to brush me off saying that not getting my period for 10 months was normal even though I was on the pill to regulate them, I asked if he got the report from the Sergeant....nope? so i explained.
He says lets do andultrasound and see what we are dealing with, in the mean time go get this blood work done and I will see you in 2 wks for the ultrasound.
So on Jan 22 I went for the ultrasound...yep the cyst is still there. HOWEVER its now 8.5cm and its not in a normal spot....he was doing the ultrasound right in the middle of my stomach and when they did it in October, i was on my side.
So I question him....are you sure its the same one?
Hope so cause its doesn't look normal, let do a transvaginal ultrasound so I can get a better look....so now I'm informed that its larger, in a strange place and doesn't look good.
So we do the second ultrasound, he doesn't say much, then says...I want to send you for more blood work??? WHAT? for what I ask....well, I don't see any obvious signs of cancer but with your family history and the fact that your cyst isn't on your ovary but beside it.
Ummmmm OK, so off I go for more blood work, and find out I have to wait 2 weeks for the results.
So for anyone who knows me, I'm worry, ALOT!
About what, everything....not so much that i may have cancer....all though that does scare the shit out of me (but with my family history I was sure it would happen at some point), but about my kids.
What the hell was going t happen to my kids???? Their Father was suitable to raise a fish right now, not would he ever actually take them. What was going to happen if for some reason I did have cancer and had to have treatments????
Even though I do have a few...and I mean few, select people in my life that could/would help me, they all have family's of their own, with issues of their own they are currently dealing with. My parents both work full time, on different shift. Yes I have a friend that would take my kids in heartbeat...as she knows I would for her, But she has a very young child that is medically fragile. Not that I don't think she could handle 5 boys under one roof, but there are to many what ifs to allow that to happen. Then theres my niece, I also now she would take little man in this circumstance (she lives to far for the older boys not to miss school) but she also has a full plate, and is dealing with soooo much already.And of course my parents. but like I said they work different shift and to arrange daycare for 4am-8am would be next to impossible!
So no my main worry isn't ....oh shit I may have cancer...its oh shit, who will watch the kids when I have surgery, how long will I need the extra help, how am I going to continue to raise 3 kids by myself while dealing with this???? and they just keep going.
I'm a very independent woman...normally, but like I said in the last 4 months its seems all i ever do is ask for help and it drives me crazy. I hate relying on other people for anything, yet alone for their help when it comes to my kids.
I already know I will in fact have surgery to remove the cyst, but its a matter of when and how long I will be down for. In an ideal world it would happen on a weekend that the kids are at their dads, that would give me 3 days to recover and not worry about them. But with the luck I have it will be on a Monday and I will end up in the hospital for like a week.
So this is what started my stress in the last 2 weeks, on top of the kids being ill and my ex being himself.... I'm ready to admit...I NEED A BREAK!
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