Just a Rant....I feel better now?!?!

I don't know why but for some reason I still wished he cared...even just a little. I know there's no chance in hell I would ever want him back (and I mean that whole heartily) but to think that he still cared about me as a human let alone the mother of his kids?

Is that really to much to ask? Is that really unrealistic?
 

I think he would show more compassion to a dead fly that he killed then to me.

I'm just the bitch who makes him pay child support, who kicked him out, who left him with all this so called debt, the bitch that forces him to see his kids. 

Again am I asking to much?
 

I gave you the option to walk away completely till you had your head in order, but no you wouldn't cause what would people say.
 

They would say and see the truth! That's what!
 

That your girlfriend and your carefree life is more important then even your own kids.

No one knows or see that even though I didn't up and move that I also had to pay half of our debt. I also have to continue to raise 3 kids as if they had 2 caring parents. I have to deal with medications, allergies, temper tantrums, dr appointments, school and every other small or large thing that comes with being a REAL parent.
 

I have always said if you couldn't handle being a single parent you have no right have a child...or 2 or in my case 3. But when you put in that many years together as parents, to have one decide one day he done and doesn't want to play anymore, wow!

I never thought you would put your tail between your legs and run the way you have. I never thought you would end up being the father you always said you would never become, the one you use to bitch about and call a deadbeat.

 Oh right, your not a dead beat. You pay child support ( also ask to borrow money after paying it, but its paid) oh and you do take your kids, when you have to, otherwise you make no effort or even attempt to be a dad.
 

You use every excuse in the book....work, money, time, to many rules, I'm to controlling.
 

Why am I still controlling? Well since you asked....you have an issue with drinking....now I'm not saying you are an alcoholic what I am saying is you have an issue, have for years and your damn right...as long as I have to protect my kids, you will not be allowed to drink in front of them...ever!
 

Call me a bitch I'm sure if anyone else really knew you they would agree. 

The only other rules you still have to live by us the nut free home...I'm sorry if you don't feel your house ( which is also suppose to be your sons home) need to be nut free when your child is only there 70hrs a month but it does.  There is no way to keep him safe other then to protect him in his home. Is that really to much to ask for???
I don't think so
 

So yes I am again venting on here, but really at my stress level right now there not many options! I can scream (check), I can cry (check), I can argue and try and explain this till I'm blue in the face (check) but honestly your never going to understand the stress level I live with on a daily bases ...let alone if I do find out I have cancer...which at this point I can't even tell you about cause again you would be more sympathetic to that dead fly!