So yes drop off went so horrible wrong, I was accused of calling people baby names (Nathan called his wife stupid and he assumed he learned it from me??? Remember he's 3...if he had learned it from me stupid would have been considered "nice"), accused of pushing Dalton into playing soccer (the ex had informed me he didn't think he could afford indoor soccer this winter ...all $50) when he told them he doesn't want too (ummm bullshit! This is the same kid who just spent all last weekend playing with his cousins while camping, has started saving for soccer camp next summer, yet he all of the sudden doesn't want to play after his visit??? Could it be that his wife's daughter was trying to "teach" him how to play? Cause he doesn't already know??? I'm not sure at this point when I ask what's going on it leads to tears and him shutting down. So I have left it up to him to think about and told him I would pay for it all if he wants to pay!!! (I'm still wondering if it his way of getting out of paying for something, that he's has 12 weeks to come up with...$50 that its?!?!)
At this point my inner Pisces had taken over...oh how I wish I wasn't a Pisces someday! I have had a gut feeling that some drink may have occurred while he had the kids for they extended visit (most people don't rent a room (remember he's broke and can't afford soccer or bday gift) when they aren't drink and only an hour from home??? So I put it out there, I said well seeing as we are playing the lets accuse people of things, you may want to make better choices on who you drink around when you have the kids (neither of them are allowed to drink at all when they have the kids it's in our agreement). His face dropped, went completely white and he had the "how the hell did she find out" look. He didn't say a word, nor did he need to, I already knew the answer. I left, I wasn't sticking around to be yelled at
When I go home I sent him an email, I stated that yes I agree Nathan shouldn't call anyone stupid (again he's 3) he has 2 older brothers and it could have been ALOT worse, I also stated that I would be calling my lawyer about the drinking issue and until I heard back it was in the best interest of the kids to not be alone with him. He was welcome to find someone to do supervised visits (not his wife nor her kids) and he flat out refused! Said seeing as I have sole custody it was my decision but he was NOT doing supervised visit. He would just cancel instead.
I asked for that to be clarified, he came back with I had 2 beers while I was on holidays and because I said something about Nathan calling her stupid you throw this crap at me"
This is where my now 19 months of patience with this guy has paid off, did I know for sure he was drinking??? NOPE! Did I have any proof??? NOPE but I did now and he was stupid enough to out it in writing!
I replied with "it has nothing to do with what Nathan said, I didn't have proof to give the lawyer but I now do" I deleted the "thanks" before sending it!
So in true "him" style he has now turned this all around on me, it's my fault he didn't follow the agreement, it's my fault he can't see his kids (which remember I didnt say he couldn't, I only said until I hear from the lawyer it was in their best interest not to be ALONE with him), and seeing as its my fault I could also tell the kids that its my stupid rules that are making it so he can't see them.
See the controlling issue happening here???
He went against the agreement, he drank, he ratted himself out, he knew the consequences and yet it's me that's stopping him from seeing them???
So what am I going to do???
I'm still not sure? I do need to talk to a lawyer again, I need to make sure that it can be court ordered (seeing his history with alcohol)that he can't drink and decide from there. Even though our agreement is completely legal and we have been told it would stand in court, I don't know what actions would be taken if he still doesn't follow it? Nor do I want him sneaking it behind my back like he already is.
Let it be stated for anyone and everyone to read and see this
I do not want my child not to have a relationship with their father (or his wife and her kids). What I want is to know that my 3 child will be safe while in his care, and if he is drinking that won't happen (I fought tooth and nail for 10 years to keep them safe while he drank off and on).
I'm not saying he is a violent drunk (not physically anyways) but he does get very mean and angry when he is drinking and our children don't need to be subjected to that.
I'm so stressed and tired and emotional drained right now all I want to do is cry but I can't, I have 3 kids that need me strong and healthy! And for them, I won't let him to continue to control me!
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