Ive been angry, confused, hurt,
Middle man (who I still need to introduce) has been home all week from school. He came down with something on Sunday and I took him in on Tuesday (after 2 days of no school I know I needed to have him checked) He has a form of tonsillitis (even though he had them removed in august), the dr had to look 3 times before he believed me, that's how swollen he is. Hes had a fever since Sunday (well except those 3 wonderful hours when the meds are doing its job). So needless to say, I think Ive had a total of 14 hrs sleep since last Sunday....and I'm crashing fast.
On a positive side, I started 1 of my 2 new jobs today. Seeing as I'm not even close to leaving little man to go back to work, I have been looking for stuff I can do from home. And with some of the wonderful people I do have in my life, I started a job typing up quotes and other letter for a local company. I also start babysitting for a friend next Sunday! Which will work out great, he son and little man get along great and she has been watching my kids while I work my part time job.
I have decided that I'm not going to wait around for the ex, we had originally agreed that he would help with bills till April 1, so that I had a chance to get up on my feet. But with all the added stress that brings I'm going to start doing it on my own as of March 1!!! It will feel wonderful to pay my own bills again. One thing I don't think I have ever mentioned before is that I'm not all that good at being a SAHM and not "working". I have pretty much had a job all my life (except the first 4 yrs of our relationship when I went to work with him instead). I had no plans at staying home with little man this time around either, but seeing as everything hes been threw in the last 19 mths I couldn't imagine leaving him.
I picked up my typing work tonight and its done!!! It felt so good to use my brain for something again (you know what I mean). I got to create some spreadsheets, and resumes and take the extra time to set them up correctly so that from now on the new ones will be easy to do.
This weekend is going to be long, but come Monday when I'm sitting at home with my 3 boys having a PJ day (Family Day after all) I will be thankful.
I have decided I'm going to start making my post happier, lighter, and full of the new memories the boys and I make!!! I'm done dwelling on the past, I have realized that if I really want to move on I need to pack all his stuff packed and out of my house. I informed his today it will be out by next Sunday. It will be nice to look around the house and not see "him". I'm going to pick out MY new bed, and I think I may even buy some new sheets and a blanket.
New Life needs New Bedding!!!!
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