Life right now is not at its best. On the outside it looks good, heck even if I talk to you it seems good, but deep down...I'm fighting that same battle again.
I'm sure the majority of my feelings right now are based on the fact that after a year I finally got my period BUT really it's been building for a while.
I'm tired, I'm exhausted, I'm feeling extremely overwhelmed, extremely alone, stressed, confused, frustrated, almost to the point I don't like who I'm becoming.
I have finally started the ball rolling in getting some help for myself and the kids to deal with daily life, but I guess in some ways I thought it would be moving quicker? I though by know I would have some answers as to what was going to happen next?
I had a meeting with a girl who thought she would like to be out respite worker, my gut tells me she may not be right for us, but I hate to judge on first impressions. I know it drives me crazy when people do it to me!
Needles to say, I haven't heard back from her since that meeting, she was suppose to email her schedule so we could set up a meeting with the boys. I have called the coordinator back and haven't heard from her either??? I understand people are busy but even a call to say "yes, we're still looking!"
I also had a meeting with Kerry's Place last week, it also went really well. I felt so hopeful after that meeting. But now I have to wait almost a month to follow up on the grants she told me about, which then jeopardized some deadlines.
And I'm sure your sick if hearing me "whine" but I still have the normal everyday life struggles to deal with.
Big man is doing better most days, his behavior is good, school is good, life in general is better all around for him
Middle man is still a struggle. Day to day life is sooo hard and frustrating, from one moment to the next I never know what I'm going to have to deal with. Good, bad, happy, sad or ugly!
I just wish something could help, I'm sick of waiting around to do programs for him when he needs them NOW! Not 6 months from now. This child is so loving, bright, and just a kind hearted soul, but something is off, something is making the worst come out in him and 30 seconds later its gone??? I don't understand it, I don't know why or how but I want answer!
Then there's little man, oh man oh man, this child is driving me crazy!
How can one child have soooo much energy, talk from the minute he gets up till the minute he goes to sleep (that is in the nights he does sleep), he is way to smart for his own good!
He has no fear at all, he will be 3 in July, and already he climbs fences, climbs slides, drops one liners, jumps from the club house, tops of play structures, he will try anything and everything. Needless to say, I'm soooo not use to this. My other two had to be almost force to try things but little man...that kid is crazy!
I know this is typical behavior for a "normal" child but I've never raised one before?!?!
So on top of all that, we have our sick kids check up in a couple weeks, where every time I take little man, nothing ever gets better, but also not worse enough to actually go forth with surgery. They wanted him potty trained by this appointment but unless a miracle happens, he won't be.
School ends in 5 weeks and this is also stressing me out. There are someday where I can't wait for Monday just to get a break from all three, the thought of 8 weeks of them 24/7 makes me sick to my stomach! And I don't say that lightly. I had these same feeling last year and it was the best summer we have ever had. But I'm just not at 100% and it shows
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